


하루 | One Day

by Justevan3



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Humor, Break Up, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Han Jisung (Stray Kids) and Jung Wooseok (Pentagon) are mentioned briefly, I promise I will get better at tagging as I figure this system out, Johnny and Mark are obligatory step brothers, Johnny's boyfriend doesn't have a name so you can pick your favorite Johnny ship, Mark is an athlete, Multi, Post-Break Up, because I sure couldn't settle on one rip, mentioned Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Unnamed Male Character(s), mentioned Mark Lee/Unnamed Female Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-08 05:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16423739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justevan3/pseuds/Justevan3
Summary: No matter how many times we fall apart, at the end of the day, we still find our way home.





	1. 오전 | Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here I am, making my public fic writing debut after years and years of keeping it to myself (and never actually finishing anything until now lmAo). Feedback is greatly appreciated! I hope you enjoy~!
> 
> (Also big big thanks to my bestie/roomie for alpha/beta/omega/whatever-it-is-because-she-read-this-thing-like-so-much reading for me~~~~~)
> 
> (ALSO the school structure and stuff is based on the Korean school year because I'm really That Bitch and I've gotta have accuracy.)

 

Donghyuck never thought Mark was perfect.

 

They’d fought with each other enough in all their years of friendship to be sure of it. And even dating didn’t change that.

 

So Mark would never be “perfect” to Donghyuck, but he had always been good.

 

But then Donghyuck started his second year of high school and something felt…different.

 

Sure, he hadn’t expected things to be exactly the same as they had been. Mark was about to _graduate_ . He _actually_ had to worry about the CSAT now. Between that and Mark’s commitment to the basketball team, Donghyuck knew there wouldn’t be as much “Just-Donghyuck-and-Mark Time” this year. And that was fine! These things were really important to Mark!

 

But maybe he should’ve been more concerned when Mark stopped showing up to their table for lunch.

 

It only took two days before Jeno shot Donghyuck a strange look from across the table.

 

“No Mark again?”

 

Donghyuck pouted dramatically and shook his head as he started unpacking his lunch.

 

“He’s getting in ‘extra study time’ now since he’s got basketball after school.”

 

Jeno pouted back.

 

“Lame. You don’t see me skipping out on you guys for track.”

 

Donghyuck shrugged.

 

“You’re also not going to take the most important test of your life in a few months,” he finished with a tap of his chopsticks to the end of Jeno’s nose.

 

Jeno’s face scrunched up on impact. He rubbed the sore spot and started to say something else when Renjun slammed his tray onto the table next to Donghyuck.

 

“Jaemin took the last piece of roll cake from _right in front of me!_ ”

 

Jaemin slipped into the seat next to Jeno with his usual cat-like grin.

 

“Maybe if you were faster you would’ve gotten it, Injunnie.”

 

Renjun lunged across the table as Jaemin cackled. Donghyuck patted Renjun’s shoulder, easing him back into his seat.

 

“There, there. Hyung will buy you ice cream later, little Injunnie.”

 

More laughter filled the air as Renjun wrapped his hands around Donghyuck’s throat, leaving no room for any uncomfortable thoughts about Mark’s disappearance.

 

Even if they weren’t seeing Mark at lunch anymore, he still kept up with their post-game group waffle outings. At least, until about halfway through the season.

 

The four friends waited for Mark outside the locker room with a small crowd of other students and parents. At long last, Mark’s head poked out from between some of his taller teammates. Donghyuck perked up and cupped his hands around his mouth.

 

“Yo Mark Lee!”

 

Mark whipped his head in their direction, looking confused, as if they didn’t do this after _every game_. He beamed when he realized who was calling his name and bounded over like an excited puppy. Jeno pulled Mark into a bro-hug.

 

“Good game man!”

 

“Yeah, thanks dude!”

 

Renjun, Jaemin, and Donghyuck shared a slightly exasperated look. Athletes. Donghyuck reached out and pinched Mark’s side as he stepped away from Jeno.

 

“Let’s go,” Donghyuck whined. “That game went into _overtime_ and I’ve had waffles on my mind since _three_.”

 

Mark laughed. He batted Donghyuck’s hands away from his side, but slipped his own hand into one of Donghyuck’s before it could fall completely. Then the grin slipped from Mark’s face.

 

“Actually…” Mark looked down to their joined hands, then around at the other three, “I don’t think I’ll be able to make waffle nights anymore, guys.”

 

Renjun looked the least amused out of all of them.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me.”

 

Jaemin tried to put a soothing hand on Renjun’s arm, but Renjun shrugged him away the second he made contact. Mark winced.

 

“I-I’m really sorry, guys. Really. I-I just...my mom found a tutor who was willing to meet after practice and since I can’t got to _actual_ cram school with basketball… I just really have to take advantage of this. Like, I’m so sorry, but if I don’t do well on the exam…”

 

Renjun huffed, but nodded sharply in understanding.

 

“Fine.”

 

Mark smiled somewhat shakily. Donghyuck squeezed Mark’s hand and knocked into his side.

 

“You can just buy us all waffles once the season is over.”

 

Mark’s jaw dropped and he tried to pry his hand out of Donghyuck’s grip. Jaemin wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“I like the sound of that!” He wrapped himself around Mark’s free arm, forcing him to stop his attempts at separating himself from Donghyuck. “Hyung, he said cutely, “buy us food.”

 

Mark squawked and started elbowing and shoving Jaemin away as best he could with one arm. In his struggles, Mark’s eyes landed on his watch. He stopped flailing and wormed his arm around to tap Jaemin as best he could.

 

“Wait, Jaemin, you gotta let go, I’m gonna be late.”

 

Jaemin pouted, but slunk away, clinging onto Jeno instead. Mark turned to Donghyuck and squeezed his hand.

 

“I’ll call you later?”

 

Donghyuck smiled sweetly at him.

 

“You better, or I’ll beat your ass.”

 

Mark choked out a laugh. He leaned in quickly and pecked Donghyuck’s cheek.

 

“Love you,” he said quietly. Donghyuck smiled as Mark stepped back to wave at the other guys. He gave Donghyuck’s hand one more squeeze before he stepped away completely. “See you later!”

 

Donghyuck turned his head back to the other three once Mark was out of sight.

 

“I wasn’t kidding about needing a waffle since three,” he deadpanned.

 

Jeno quickly slipped out from where Jaemin was still half draped over his shoulder.

 

“Yep, okay, let’s go.”

 

The season continued like that, greeting Mark after games then going to eat waffles as four instead of five. Then one night, Donghyuck was lazily tapped through Snapchat stories to wind down after talking to Mark when something caught his eye. He sat up in bed, like that would help him see better. He tapped back a few screens to watch the clip again. Sure enough, there, clear as day, definitely not with a tutor, was Mark.

 

Donghyuck leaned up outside Mark’s classroom as he waited for the latter to show up, phone in hand. Mark rounded the corner a few moments later. His face lit up when he saw Donghyuck.

 

“Hey! What’re you doing here?”

 

“I didn’t know Han Jisung ran a tutoring service out of his basement.”

 

All of the color drained from Mark’s face.

 

“Donghyuck, I didn’t– I wasn’t–”

 

Donghyuck flipped his phone around and played the video.

 

“Really? Because it sure looks like you were.”

 

Mark chewed on his lip, but couldn’t get any more words out. Donghyuck sighed. He tucked his phone into his pocket.

 

“Look, Mark, if you want to hang out with your basketball friends, it’s _fine._ What’s not fine, is _lying_ about it. You know I trust you the most out of anyone, but now,” Donghyuck shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess it’s gonna be a little harder now.” He pushed off the wall and resettled his bag on his shoulders. “I hope you’ve got a really good reason for it when you tell Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin the truth.”

 

It took Mark until after the next, also the last, home basketball game to talk things out with them. Donghyuck couldn’t say he, or any of them really, were completely satisfied with Mark’s explanation that he ‘didn’t want them to think he was abandoning them,’ especially because that was _exactly_ what it felt like, but it would do for now. Mark was clearly juggling a lot. Plus Mark promised waffles on him until the new year.

 

After that, they settled into a pattern of occasional out of school meet ups, but Mark still didn’t return to the lunch table.

 

“So are we just not going to see Mark in school again until graduation?” Jaemin said after another Mark-less week.

 

Donghyuck stopped midway through picking up one of his octopus shaped sausages and sighed.

 

“The test is less than a month away. You know how he gets about this kind of stuff. Remember how he holed himself up in his room for a _month_ before the _practice test?_ I’m sure he’ll be back after it’s all over with.”

 

There was an uncomfortable pause as Jaemin studied Donghyuck’s face.

 

“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?”

 

Donghyuck did his best to keep his eyes locked on Jaemin’s, tuning out the reassuring hand Renjun set on his knee and the look Jeno was giving Jaemin as he worked his jaw silently. Trying to convince _himself?_ There was no way. He knew Mark. He _trusted_ Mark. Something panged in his chest, reminding him of what had happened just a few weeks earlier, but he shook it off. Mark had made up for that...mostly. And he still talked to Mark every day! Regardless of whether or not he saw his face. This would all work out in the end. The tension in the air was still eating at him. These were his best friends, he couldn’t have them feeling upset or uncomfortable. So Donghyuck cracked a smile.

 

“Obviously I have to convince you idiots. You probably wouldn’t get through a day without fighting if it weren’t for me.”

 

Renjun smacked Donghyuck’s thigh.

 

“Hey! Half the time we’re fighting with _you!”_

 

Donghyuck shrugged.

 

“It’s just a sacrifice I have to make for world peace.”

 

Renjun dug his fingers into Donghyuck’s side and kept on yelling in his ear. Between his laughter and batting Renjun’s hands away, Donghyuck saw Jaemin and Jeno relax and break into smiles of their own. Mission accomplished.

 

On the day of the entrance exam, the four friends huddled outside the school with classmates and families to cheer on the students going through the front gates, which seemed more like the gates to Hell in that moment. They took turns holding up their “LET’S GEDDIT MARK LEE” banner, switching when their fingers starting going numb. Finally, a very familiar face appeared among the hoard of students. Jeno started calling for Mark like an over-excited fangirl while Jaemin and Donghyuck made exaggerated airhorn noises and Renjun stayed content on sign duty. Mark’s head whipped around until he spotted their banner and flailing limbs. He waddled over, restricted by his own thick coat, with a wide, but tired, grin on his face.

 

“Yo, what? You didn’t have to do all this.”

 

Jeno said:

 

“Oh, it’s not that much really.”

 

At the same time Jaemin said:

 

“Of course we did. You’re about to leave us forever.”

 

And chucked a piece of candy at him, hitting Mark square in the forehead.

 

Mark gaped at Jaemin, sending them all into a fit of laughter. Mark finally managed to shake himself out of it and bent down for the candy. As he started to stand again, Renjun piped up:

 

“Hey, can we hurry this along? I think my hands are gonna fall off.”

 

Jeno quickly handed over his own piece of candy to Mark with a warm smile, then rushed to take the sign from Renjun. Renjun sighed in relief and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. He shuffled over to Mark.

 

“You know the drill,” he said, knocking his elbow against Mark’s.

 

Mark chuckled and held out a hand. Renjun smacked his own candy into Mark’s palm.

 

“Let’s geddit,” he said, very seriously. Then he grabbed Jaemin by the arm to drag him over to Jeno so he could sandwich himself between two very effective body heat generators. Jaemin held both fists up and called a “fighting!” to Mark as he let himself be pulled.

 

Mark tucked the candies into his coat and turned to Donghyuck. Everything about him seemed to soften in that moment.

 

“Hey.”

 

Donghyuck smiled just as softly back.

 

“Hey, yourself.” He reached out to lace his fingers through Mark’s. “You’re gonna do great, don’t even worry about it. You’ve studied so much. Like, if you don’t get into SNU, I might have to beat you up.”

 

Mark chuckled and rubbed his thumb over the back of Donghyuck’s hand.

 

“You really think I can do that well?”

 

“Of course!” Donghyuck shook Mark’s hand around for emphasis. “You’re Mark Lee! If you believed in yourself half as much as everyone else did? Oh boy, you’d be _unstoppable_.”

 

The soft smile was back on Mark’s face and he squeezed Donghyuck’s hand tightly.

 

“Thanks, Hyuck.”

 

Donghyuck just nodded, his own sunny smile firmly in place. He dropped Mark’s hand for just a second to grab the candy from his pocket, then pressed it into Mark’s palm. He cupped one of Mark’s cheeks in his other hand, running his thumb over the dark purple circles that had taken up residence under Mark’s eyes.

 

“You’ve got this.”

 

Mark nodded. Donghyuck patted Mark’s cheek then pressed a kiss to the other. He stepped back, fingers slipping from Mark’s and into his own pockets.

 

“Text me when you’re done so I know you’re not dead and we can maybe watch a movie or something?”

 

Mark smiled and closed his hand around the candy.

 

“Yeah, sure thing.”

 

He stepped back toward the school then turned to jog to the gate. He turned back just shy of the mass of students and called:

 

“I love you!”

 

Donghyuck giggled to himself then called back:

 

“I love you too!”

 

Mark waved and disappeared into a sea of uniforms.

 

The rest of the semester flew by after that. Even though Mark never did reappear at their lunch table, he more than made up for his lack of appearances over the winter holidays. The five of them spent almost every day together, chasing each other down streets lined with twinkling lights, drinking way too much hot chocolate, and chucking dirty snowballs at each other’s backs. Mark seemed lighter and more carefree than he had over their entire school career, high off his acceptance into Yonsei. Donghyuck did end up following through on his promise of beating Mark up, having left a sizeable bruise on his shoulder from how hard he hit Mark in his own excitement. Eventually, January dragged on and school was rapidly approaching once again. Everything seemed right on track for Mark to actually come back to their friend group once school was back in session.

 

Donghyuck showed up at Mark’s house unannounced one evening a week before school opened back up, something he did frequently. But the look on Mark’s face when he opened the door would’ve led you to believe that this wasn’t such a regular occurrence.

 

“Hyuck! What are you doing here?”

 

Donghyuck smiled and lifted his shoulders.

 

“Well, I realized we hadn’t had a date in the new year yet so I figured…” He looked over Mark’s appearance. “Are you going somewhere?”

 

Mark smiled sheepishly, tugging on the collar of his flannel shirt.

 

“Yeah, the basketball team is throwing a sort of “last hurrah” party tonight. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I, uh, I didn’t really think anything else would come up.”

 

Donghyuck’s shoulders fell.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Hey, no, don’t make that face,” Mark said, reaching out for Donghyuck.

 

Donghyuck shook himself into a smile and grabbed Mark’s outstretched hand.

 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Go have fun with your sports friends. I should’ve let you know I was coming anyway.”

 

“No, no, I should’ve told you about it. Sorry.” Mark cast a quick look behind his shoulder. Then he tugged on Donghyuck’s hand. “Here, at least come inside for a little bit and warm up. I’m just about to go, but Johnny’s here, so he can take you home.”

 

Well, that wasn’t quite what Donghyuck had in mind, but he’d always take a little bit of time with Mark over none. So Donghyuck let himself be pulled through the doorway. He hovered awkwardly just inside as Mark maneuvered around him to slip his shoes on and grab his coat.

 

“Text me when you get home?” Donghyuck piped up.

 

Mark turned back towards him from the door and smiled.

 

“Of course,” he said, shrugging his coat over his shoulders. He grabbed Donghyuck’s elbow to pull himself closer so he could press a sweet kiss to Donghyuck’s mouth. His hand slipped down to Donghyuck’s as he pulled away. “Love you.”

 

Donghyuck squeezed Mark’s hand before he let go.

 

“Love you too.”

 

Then Mark stepped out into the cold night air with a wave.

 

Donghyuck sighed as the door shut. He debated just standing there for a few minutes until he was sure Mark was far enough away so he wouldn’t catch him walking home. Johnny hadn’t come home to drive his kid brother’s boyfriend around. Of course, Donghyuck’s train of thought was interrupted by said older brother.

 

“Are you gonna stand there in your coat all night or are you gonna actually come in so we can watch a movie and eat pizza like you were probably planning on?”

 

Donghyuck laughed to himself as he turned to Johnny. Based on all of his own years of “big-brothering,” Johnny was a _really good_ big brother. He wasn’t even related to Mark by blood, but with the way Johnny teased and coddled the younger, you’d never know. Johnny was just kind of…everyone’s big brother. For Donghyuck, he never realized how burdened he felt by his own responsibilities until he was with Johnny. It was one of the few times when Donghyuck felt like he could let everything go, not worry about making sure everyone was happy, because Johnny was taking care of it.

 

“I’ll even put in Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Y’know, so we can _make_ _out_ during the scary parts,” Johnny said, when Donghyuck still hadn’t moved from his spot by the door.

 

Donghyuck gave a full laugh and finally unzipped his coat.

 

“I feel like both of our boyfriends would be very opposed to that.”

 

Johnny shrugged as Donghyuck toed off his shoes and dropped his coat on top of them. He pushed past Johnny towards the living room.

 

“Pepperoni with extra cheese and a liter of cider or I’m not coming to your wedding.”

 

“But you’re a better brother than Mark, you _have_ to come,” Johnny whined exaggeratedly as he followed Donghyuck, phone already open to the pizza delivery app.

 

 

 

Donghyuck picked at the crust left from his last slice of pizza as Johnny scrolled through Netflix for another movie once “Sharkboy and Lavagirl” had finished. Thoughts of Mark had been eating at him all night, and if anyone had any sort of answers that Mark himself wasn’t willing to give, it was Johnny.

 

“Johnny?”

 

Johnny hummed in response.

 

“Has Mark seemed…different lately?”

 

Johnny stopped his scrolling and looked down at Donghyuck.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Donghyuck looked up from his pizza crust, but kept toying with it between his fingers.

 

“It’s just…he hasn’t sat with us at school all year and I haven’t bothered him about it because I didn’t want him worrying about _that_ on top of all the college stuff. And like, things have been fine, _more than fine_ over break, but then tonight was just…weird…” He laughed sheepishly and looked back down. “It sounds silly now that I’m actually saying it, but…” Donghyuck sighed, letting he beaten remnants of crust fall onto the plate. “I’m just…worried I guess.”

 

Johnny wrapped his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders and pulled him into his side.

 

“Hey, it’s okay. A lot’s been going on lately, yeah?”

 

Donghyuck nodded.

 

“College is a _huge_ step, so it’s totally reasonable that you’re worried. And you know how Mark is. Once he gets set in a habit, it’s _stuck_. And on top of that, he’s denser than a pound cake, so he probably doesn’t even realize that he’s upsetting his friends, and you, because no one’s explicitly said, ‘Hey that thing you’re doing? It sucks. Stop it,’ to him.”

 

That got a chuckle out of Donghyuck and he snuggled closer to Johnny, giving him a sort of side hug.

 

“Thanks, Johnny. I’ll try talking to him now that stuff’s settling down.”

 

Johnny squeezed Donghyuck even tighter.

 

“Everything’s gonna be alright.”

 

 

Everything was not so “alright” when Mark ended up not texting Donghyuck after he was home from the party. Or responding to Donghyuck’s texts asking if he was okay. And when he called, it would ring once then go to voicemail. Donghyuck had to find out from Johnny that, yes, Mark was fine and at home. Donghyuck didn’t press the issue any further, figuring Mark might have dropped his phone in the snow and messed it up or stepped on it at the party or _something_. Because Mark was dumb and clumsy outside of his athletic abilities.

 

But then school started. Mark didn’t show up to their table yet again. The only time Donghyuck saw him was quick glimpses in the hallways before and after school. Between Mark’s apparent avoidance and the increasingly disappointed and annoyed looks on his friends faces every time lunch started and it was just the four of them once again, Donghyuck was getting fed up.

 

He finally found a space between his own cramming for finals and increasing entrance exam prep to make his way over to Mark’s house. Mark’s mom answered the door. She looked both surprised and delighted to see Donghyuck on her doorstep.

 

“Donghyuck! I didn’t know you were coming over today. How are you?” she rattled on as she ushered Donghyuck inside.

 

Donghyuck laughed lightly. Mrs. Lee always made him feel at home, even before he and Mark had started dating.

 

“I’m doing okay. I haven’t heard from Mark since before break ended, so I wanted to come by and make sure he wasn’t, y’know, dead or something.” He punctuated his statement with another weak chuckle. The combination of hearing the words out loud and seeing Mrs. Lee’s brow furrow had only added to the feeling that something was wrong.

 

Mrs. Lee smoothed her features back into her usual warm smile.

 

“Well, Mark’s in his room, like he’s been all week.”

 

Donghyuck nodded and made his way upstairs. Anxiety welled in his chest as he padded down the hall to Mark’s room. Mark’s door was open, revealing the boy lounging on his bed, glasses slipping down his nose, his eyes roving over a book in his lap. If Donghyuck wasn’t so upset with him, he’d probably toss the book away and smother Mark in kisses. Instead, Donghyuck crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorway. He rapped on the doorframe twice to catch Mark’s attention. Mark jumped and his wide eyes jolted to where Donghyuck stood. Donghyuck spoke before his own guard could fall any further.

 

“Alright, Mark Lee, what gives?”

 

Mark choked over a combination of Donghyuck’s name and a “what”.

 

“You haven’t responded to my texts for _two weeks_ , asshole. And you’re screening my calls? Since when did you do _that?_ ”

 

Mark’s shocked expression quickly settled into something stonier, colder than Donghyuck had ever seen in Mark. Dread coiled itself around Donghyuck’s already churning insides.

 

“I’ve been busy.”

 

“ _Busy?”_ Donghyuck sputtered, _“_ Bullshit! You’ve been ‘busy’ for _months_ , but that hasn’t kept you from texting me until now. What the hell is up with you?”

 

Mark’s eyebrows scrunched together almost forcefully. His fingers pressed so hard into the pages of his book that his knuckles turned white.

 

“This might be what things are like when I go to college, and I thought I might as well get a head start on coping with it.”

 

Donghyuck took a full step back, like the words had been a punch to the gut. He gaped for a moment before his words returned.

 

“ _When_ you go to college, Mark! Not _now_ ! And _if_ it ends up being like this, well…we can figure it out! _If_ that happens. For God’s sake, Mark…” Donghyuck rubbed at his forehead. “I’m your _boyfriend_ ! You didn’t think to maybe, oh I don’t know, run this by me since it affects me just as much as it does you?! Maybe _I_ would rather spend as much time together while we still _can_ this easily! And what about the rest of your friends, huh? You’re just going to drop them because you’re about to be a big high school graduate?”

 

Mark’s thumbs rubbed at his book, but every other part of him stayed set like a statue. Donghyuck’s shoulders trembled as he breathed, nearly panting from his outburst. Tears pricked at the backs of his eyes as the silence dragged on. Finally, Donghyuck just shook his head.

 

“Call me when you figure out whatever the fuck is up and want to act like your fucking self again.”

 

Then Donghyuck turned and left Mark’s room with a definitive slam of the door. He rushed down the stairs, making a beeline for the door.

 

_In. Out. Just a few more steps and you’re in the clear. In. Out._

 

Mrs. Lee caught him before his hand could close around the knob.

 

“I take it you aren’t staying for dinner?”

 

Donghyuck turned to face her as she shuffled out of the kitchen. His whole body still shook. He figured he had about a minute before his strength gave out and his tears flowed freely, but Mrs. Lee was worth it. He swallowed around a lump in his throat.

 

“Not today, no…”

 

The furrow returned to Mrs. Lee’s brow. She wrapped her arms around Donghyuck.

 

“Well, come back soon so I can cook you a nice meal, okay?”

 

Donghyuck squeezed her back tightly and nodded against her hair.

 

If Mrs. Lee had been a couple inches shorter, Donghyuck’s sure she would’ve heard his heart cracking in his chest.

 

 

Donghyuck spent the rest of the weekend curled up in one of Mark’s old sweatshirts, phone volume all the way up. But the special ringtone he’d had for Mark since 6th grade never came through his speakers.

 

Mark was there, outside of Donghyuck’s classroom on Monday morning, pulling him into a tight hug and whispering apologies into his hair. And he was there at lunch too. But things felt…strained.

 

“Nice of you to join us a week before graduation,” Renjun said as Mark sat down at the table.

 

Donghyuck shot Renjun a pleading look. Mark smiled sheepishly and leaned forward so he could see Renjun around Donghyuck.

 

“Yeah…I’m really sorry. I just…got caught up in all the college stuff and kind of, um,” Mark’s eyes drifted to Donghyuck, “forgot myself there for a second, I guess.”

 

Renjun nodded, content with Mark’s response but not fully satisfied.

 

“You’re buying me ice cream until you move to campus.”

 

Mark nodded firmly and slipped back into his seat.

 

The week continued like that. A strange replica of how their friendship worked before Mark was a senior, but with so much underlying tension that it felt like with one wrong move, everything would crumble.

 

And then it did.

 

Donghyuck could tell something was off from the second he woke up, an hour after Mark’s graduation. He swore under his breath, then rushed to throw his clothes on and make his way to where they were supposed to meet for a big group brunch after the ceremony, hoping he hadn’t missed that too. Luckily, all of Mark’s family and closest friends were still there, menus and all. Donghyuck stumbled through countless apologies and slipped into an empty seat next to Jaemin. Jaemin scoffed as he brushed Donghyuck’s messy fringe with his fingers.

 

“Dude, what happened? Where were you?”

 

“I overslept…” Donghyuck panted, still trying to catch his breath. He caught Mark’s eyes as he reached for a menu and sent him an apologetic look. Mark smiled back at him.

 

Donghyuck caught Mark after they’d finished and crowded around outside the restaurant.

 

“Hey, I’m really sorry I missed you graduating...”

 

Mark shook his head. He placed a reassuring hand on Donghyuck’s waist and rubbed circles there with his thumb.

 

“It’s really fine. You didn’t miss much, honestly. Like, it’s a bunch of kids walking across stage to grab pieces of paper, who really needs to sit through an hour of that?”

 

Donghyuck chewed on his lip.

 

“You’re sure it’s fine?”

 

Mark smiled and leaned in to kiss Donghyuck.

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Donghyuck nodded. As he tucked his lips between his teeth, he noticed a bittersweet aftertaste. He didn’t remember seeing Mark drink coffee though.

 

Later, at Mark’s graduation party, everything was going _great_. Donghyuck was soda-drunk and happy, dancing like an idiot with Jeno to Mark’s “throwback” playlist in the living room. Then he felt a tap on his shoulder. Donghyuck spun around to find Mark standing there. Donghyuck beamed.

 

“Hey!”

 

Mark smiled back, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“Hey, um…” The smile dropped from Mark’s face. “Can we talk for a minute?”

 

Donghyuck blinked in confusion as something panged inside him. He glanced back at Jeno.

 

“Um, yeah, sure,” Donghyuck said slowly. He grabbed Jeno’s shoulder, telling him he’d be back, then followed Mark out to the back of the house.

 

Donghyuck’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched Mark shut the backdoor carefully behind them.

 

“So what’s up?”

 

Mark swallowed and stepped closer to Donghyuck. He took ahold of both of his hands.

 

“You know I love you, right?”

 

Donghyuck’s blood turned to ice.

 

“Mark…Mark please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

 

Mark just smiled sadly and squeezed Donghyuck’s hands.

 

“I really don’t want to do this.”

 

Donghyuck ripped his hands from Mark’s.

 

“So then why are you?”

 

Mark reached out for Donghyuck again.

 

“Donghyuck, please–“

 

Donghyuck stepped away from Mark.

 

“What did I do? Just tell me so we can _talk_ about it! Is this about this morning? Because you said it was fine–”

 

Mark shook his head and kept trying to get closer to Donghyuck.

 

“Baby, no, you didn’t do any–“

 

Donghyuck shoved a hand out in front of him, as if it could be a barrier between himself and Mark.

 

“You do _not_ get to call me ‘baby’ when you’re _breaking up with me._ Mark, _why?_ ”

 

Mark finally stopped moving towards Donghyuck.

 

“It’s for the best.”

 

“For the best? For the _best?_ Best for who?! For you to screw around in college?!”

 

Mark reached for Donghyuck again, but stopped himself midway.

 

“Donghyuck, no, you know I’m not like that.”

 

“Do I?”

 

“Yes! Donghyuck, please, I’m still _me_.”

 

Donghyuck huffed and shook his head.

 

“So then _why?”_

 

“I don’t want to hurt you!”

 

“You’re already hurting me, Mark!”

 

“What about when you realize that this wasn’t going to last anyway because we’re _kids?”_

 

The words seemed to ring in the silence that followed them. All of the anger drained out of Donghyuck’s body, pure sadness taking its place. He blinked through tears that started to cloud his vision.

 

“Is that what this is about? Did, did any of this _ever_ matter to you?” Donghyuck nearly whispered.

 

“Of course it mattered…”

 

Donghyuck shook his head.

 

“Mark, just stop. This is what you want. I don’t–“ Donghyuck cut himself off as his voice started to break. He tucked his chin to his chest and took a deep breath. “Just go. I’m not going to keep fighting to keep you somewhere you don’t want to be anymore.”

 

Donghyuck heard Mark start to say something, then give up, shifting around awkwardly in his spot.

 

“I’m sorry,” Mark finally said, then walked back into the party.

 

_In. Out. In. Out. You can do this. It’s okay. Jeno’s waiting for you inside. In. Ou—_

 

Donghyuck’s shoulders trembled around his shaking breaths. His knees wobbled and gave out, landing him in a heap on the ground. Finally, the floodgates opened and for once Donghyuck couldn’t keep things at bay.

 

Johnny found Donghyuck not ten minutes later, shivering with his face buried in his knees. He draped his coat over Donghyuck’s shoulders. Then he knelt down and tried to get Donghyuck to look at him.

 

“Hey, hey, what happened? Are you okay?”

 

Donghyuck just shook his head, not wanting to attempt words in his hysterics. Johnny looked around the backyard then back at Donghyuck.

 

“You stay here. I’m going to go back in and get your friends, okay?”

 

Donghyuck shook his head frantically, eyes wide with fear. They couldn’t see him like this. He was supposed to be the one who was always happy, always positive. How could he be that if they saw him in _pieces?_ Johnny squeezed Donghyuck’s shoulders.

 

“It’s okay. You’re okay. They’ll take care of you. Just stay here and I’ll be right back.”

 

Donghyuck didn’t have much choice in the matter. Between the cold and the heartbreak, he wasn’t sure when the next time he’d be able to get his legs to function was. True to his word, Johnny was back outside with three very concerned faces a few moments later. Johnny helped Jeno get Donghyuck into a standing position and swapped out his coat for Donghyuck’s own. Donghyuck’s sobs slowly calmed down as Jaemin rubbed soothing circles into the nape of his neck and Renjun held one of Donghyuck’s hands in his own coat pocket. Johnny squeezed Donghyuck’s shoulder one more time before he sent them through the side of the yard.

 

“You’ll still come to my wedding right?” Johnny said with a soft smile.

 

Donghyuck gave him a wobbly smile of his own and nodded.


	2. 오후 | Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things get worse before they get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! You may have noticed the chapter count went up. That's because...I split this chapter into two! (Not for length, they're actually both shorter than the first chapter...rip...) Hope you enjoy! And look forward to the, uh, "thrilling" conclusion next week!

Donghyuck entered the new school year with fresh resolve and a clearer head than he’d had in months. He’d spent almost the entirety of break cooped up in his room, against constant urgings from his friends to come outside. He was much more concerned about figuring out how to restructure his life around a Mark-sized hole and staring down entrance exam prep books than his social life. He even tried convincing his mom to enroll him in extra music cram school classes to no avail. His disappointment from that was short lived though, because it turned out his brothers had gotten to her first and had convinced her to buy Donghyuck his own keyboard as a “congrats on being a senior” gift.

 

On the first day back, Donghyuck made Jeno swap seats with him at lunch, claiming he wanted a “new perspective” before he had to leave it all behind. Renjun didn’t seem to mind either, if the pink dusting his cheeks when Jeno slid in next to him was any indication. Donghyuck eyed them curiously.

“What’s going on with you two?”

Jeno and Renjun exchanged a nervous look.

“Um, we’re kind of…dating?” Renjun said, sounding almost scared of how Donghyuck would take it.

“Oh,” Donghyuck blinked in confusion a few times, “okay. That’s cool.” He picked his chopsticks up to start eating. “You know, I always thought if Jeno was gonna get together with someone in the group it would’ve been Jaemin bu—“

“All three of us are dating,” Jaemin blurted out before Donghyuck could finish his thought, red creeping onto his own cheeks.

Donghyuck dropped the piece of radish he was holding.

“Oh!” He looked between the three of them. “Oh wow...” He winced at how downtrodden he sounded and flailed a hand out as if batting the words away. “No! No. I’m really happy for you guys! Like that’s…great.”

Donghyuck tried his hardest to show that he really was happy, but couldn’t work the corners of his mouth up high enough to be convincing. Jaemin reached over to pull Donghyuck into his side.

“We’re not gonna leave you in the dust, Duckie, don’t worry.”

Donghyuck felt Jeno nudge his foot under the table.

“Yeah, who else is gonna take all of Renjun’s beatings?”

Renjun smacked Jeno’s shoulder at that. Donghyuck laughed, sniffling up some tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t make out in front of me when you buy me waffles later.”  


It took until the end of the week for the four of them to be able to escape their responsibilities and head out together. Donghyuck lagged behind Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno as they approached their usual waffle cart. His feet stopped moving as soon as the cotton candy blue sign came into view. Jeno turned around when he realized Donghyuck wasn't with them anymore.

“Donghyuck? You okay?” Jeno said, stepping closer.

Donghyuck didn't move. Memories of all the good times their group had had in this area whizzed through his head. But everything felt empty, barren without Mark. Instead of happiness, a dull sadness settled over Donghyuck. Tears pricked at his eyes again.

_In. Out. In. Out. It doesn't have to be waffles. This isn't about waffles. This is about your friends and making the most of your last year together. In. Out._

Donghyuck gave a firm sniff, almost passing it off like it was from the cold.

“Yeah, I, uh, I just changed my mind. I don’t think I’m really in the mood for waffles today. Can we do…” His eyes scanned the other side of the street, where there were no memories to be tainted. “Donuts! I could really go for a donut.”

Renjun and Jaemin had joined back up with Jeno at this point. The three of them looked at Donghyuck in concern. Donghyuck could feel himself starting to tremble under their eyes. Then Jaemin swooped forward and slung an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders, dragging him towards a crosswalk. Donghyuck let out a relieved breath. For once, he was grateful for Jaemin’s constant babbling in his ear, pulling his focus away from his own thoughts.

 

They settled into a booth in Dunkin Donuts, chattering about being seniors and how entrance exam prep _sucked_ , but how they were _so ready_ to get out of high school. Donghyuck slapped his phone on the table.

“Y’know, what’d be fun? Going through our year and assigning people to colleges.”

Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun made various sounds of agreement, pulling out their own phones. Donghyuck slurped on his blue lemonade and opened Facebook.

_Mark Lee has been tagged in a photo._

Donghyuck’s straw slipped out of his mouth. He slid a shaking finger along the screen to reveal a picture of Mark and a girl, pressed cheek to cheek and smiling, with the caption, “ _Blessed to have met you this week <3”. _

A dam burst. It felt like the graduation party all over again, but somehow _worse_ . Had Mark really moved on that quickly? Did people usually move on from people they were supposedly _in love with_ in under a month? Mark had lied more in his senior year than Donghyuck had ever seen, but how much had he _really_ been lying about? And the fact that it was a _girl_ . Had Donghyuck been an _experiment_?

“Hyuck, you brought it up did you want to go– Hyuck?” Jeno’s voice cut through Donghyuck’s thoughts. Donghyuck could practically hear Jeno’s brows furrowing. “Whoa, wait, are you crying? What’s going on?”

A hand from across the table slid Donghyuck’s phone from under his face.

“Oh Donghyuck…” Renjun whispered.

Jeno whined for Renjun to show him. A moment later there was a gasp followed by the weight of an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders. Donghyuck curled towards Jeno, keeping his face hidden. Jeno handed the phone off and wrapped his other arm around Donghyuck, squeezing him tight.

“You should unfriend him and private your profile,” Jaemin said firmly from across the table.

Donghyuck looked up at Jaemin. He sniffled and rubbed at one of his eyes with his sleeve.

“C-could you do it for, for me? I just, right now…” Donghyuck bit down on his lips to stifle a sob. He could make out Jaemin nodding and turning his focus to Donghyuck’s phone through his watery vision. Renjun reached out and dragged Donghyuck’s arm over so he could hold onto his hand. Jeno patted Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“You still want to go on the beach trip? I totally understand if you don’t because of...who’s going…”

Donghyuck shook his head.

“No, no, I-I should be okay by then. And besides,” he looked between the three of them, lips spread in a fragile smile, “I’m not gonna let that loser ruin our fun.”

 

About a week before the trip, Donghyuck realized how not okay he still was. The day Donghyuck chose to unmute the “Dream Team” group chat was the same day that Mark sent the message:

“Would it be okay if I brought someone?”

And Jaemin said:

“like who? your g i r l f r i e n d?” with a string of wholly unnecessary and ridiculous emojis.

To which Mark replied:

“Yeah.”

Mark? Donghyuck felt like he could maybe handle at this point. But Mark and his _girlfriend?_ Dealbreaker. No way. The thought itself was already starting to send him back to how he felt _months_ ago.

Donghyuck muted the chat again and shot a message to the group chat he had with just Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun.

“idk if I’m gonna be able to go anymore fellas soz :/”

Jaemin just sent crying emojis. Jeno sent a very heartfelt and understanding message, followed by a whole page of hearts. And Renjun said:

“daMMIT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME DROWN MARK AND CLAIM MY RIGHTFUL PLACE AS THE OLDEST”

 

Donghyuck didn’t realize he’d forgotten to tell his mom about the change in plans until the day before he was supposed to leave and she asked if he needed a ride. Donghyuck panicked and told her he’d be fine walking. At the same time, he texted Johnny to ask if he could spend the weekend with him. Just getting out of the house like he was supposed to seemed easier than trying to explain the _whole_ situation to his mom and probably breaking down into tears _again_. So instead of spending the weekend basking in the warmth of the sun and the sand, Donghyuck spent it being warmed between Johnny and his boyfriend instead.

 

When pictures from the trip appeared in chats and on social media, Donghyuck noticed the distinct lack of a female in any of them. He shrugged it off. Someone had to take the pictures. That’s what he told his mom he was doing after all.

Donghyuck was content to stay uninformed about what all happened on the trip, but his friends seemed to have other ideas. It all came to a head as they were studying in Jaemin’s room one afternoon.

“But Donghyuck, I just think you should kno–”

Donghyuck cut Jeno off for what must have been the fifth time that day, slamming a hand down on his textbook.

“I don’t _care_ , Jeno. I’m trying to get over him, dammit! I don’t want to hear about whatever happened with him on your cute little couples’ retreat!”

The silence stung. Donghyuck hated this. Hated when his usual snark turned into something more biting. Hated how crestfallen Jeno looked, how Jaemin was just _staring_ at him. Donghyuck winced when he made eye contact with Renjun. If looks could kill…

“Well, if you had _been_ there, you would’ve known that Mark didn’t bring _anyone_ with him.”

Donghyuck crinkled the pages of his textbook under his fingers. He finally dropped his eyes from Renjun’s. After a few strained moments, Donghyuck cleared his throat and started to gather his things off the floor.

“Hyuck–” Jaemin started.

Donghyuck shook his head, eyes trained on his bag.

_In. Out. Yes, you snapped. But it’s okay. They don’t hate you. In. Out._

“No, no. I’m sorry I made things uncomfortable.”

“No, I shouldn’t have kept pushing you like that,” Jeno said, shifting like he was about to get off of Jaemin’s bed.

Donghyuck kept shaking his head.

“You should be able to talk about whatever you want without me being like that. It’s not fair to you.” He finally looked up to where his three friends were sitting and slung his bag over his shoulder. He smiled weakly. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

It was safe to say no one really brought up Mark after that.

 

Donghyuck didn’t even flinch when he got his acceptance notice from Yonsei. He was too busy trying to figure out how _Jaemin_ of all people got into SNU. Meanwhile, Jeno was going even _farther_ away, to _Korea University_ of all places, but at least Renjun was only one subway stop away, since he chose not to bother with the SKY universities and just go to Hongik for art instead.

Donghyuck managed to keep Mark in the back of his mind and in the fringes of his vision throughout his time at Yonsei. He filled the forefront with unsatisfying, short-term relationships for a period before settling on just being with Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno and worrying about his academics. With everything he saw through Renjun, all the ups and downs and anything in between, Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel like, maybe, just maybe, they would have made it too.

Donghyuck was more than prepared to be avoiding Mark Lee for the rest of his life when the wedding announcement came in the mail.


	3. 새벽 | Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's always darkest before the dawn.

 

 

 

Donghyuck worried the corner of the wedding program between his fingers as he scanned the lawn for an empty seat, preferably in a back corner, but snagging a seat behind a particularly tall person would be great too. If he was honest with himself, Donghyuck had wanted to turn and run back home the second he’d stepped out the front door. Curling up on the couch and watching “This Is It” for the twentieth time that month sounded _much_ better than avoiding eye contact with his ex for seven hours. But he couldn’t do that to Johnny, not after _years_ of promising that he’d be here. Of course, when he’d officially RSVP’d, he’d _thought_ three of his best friends would be there for back-up, but _no_ it just _had_ to be the same weekend as Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno’s “Graduation-Slash-Five-Year-Anniversary" Vacation.

 

Donghyuck sighed in relief as he _finally_ spotted a nice seat off to the side, obscured just enough by a flower arrangement. He’d gotten this far without being recognized, so if he just ducked his head and walked a _little_ quicker he would already be halfway–

 

“Donghyuck? Lee Donghyuck, is that you?”

 

Well, _shit_.

 

Donghyuck turned around, smiling through his panic.

 

“Uh, yeah. Hi, Mrs. Lee. It’s been a while?”

 

Mrs. Lee threw her arms around Donghyuck without a second of hesitation.

 

“It’s so good to see you! I thought I saw your name on one of the place settings but I wasn’t sure…” she trailed off as she stepped back to hold Donghyuck at arm’s length. Her eyes danced over his appearance. Donghyuck let himself do the same, taking in all of the details that had become fuzzy with time.

 

“Look at you! You’ve really grown up! And your _hair!_ ”

 

Donghyuck tugged on his ear and thought about how his now honey golden hair must look to her. He breathed a laugh.

 

“I had to tone it down some for the job search. You should’ve seen it when it was red.”

 

“Oh! I think I saw it on Facebook! But seeing it all in person is so...” she squeezed Donghyuck’s forearm in an almost reassuring way, smiling warmly up at him. “It is _really_ good to see you again, Donghyuck.”

 

Donghyuck returned the warmth with his own smile.

 

“It’s good to see you too, Mrs. Lee.”

 

A silent moment passed with them just standing there, basking in comfortable familiarity. Mrs. Lee shook herself out of it first. She looked toward the altar, where Johnny and his groomsmen has started gathering.

 

“Oh, I should get to my seat.” Mrs. Lee started to let go of Donghyuck and turn away, but stopped herself halfway. “Why don’t you come sit with us?”

 

Donghyuck froze. He was _sure_ that Mark was in the wedding party. He’d avoided Mark for _three whole years_ while they were both at Yonsei. So _maybe_ he’d had to drop a class...or two. Still! He’d done it! And he’d planned on continuing that for, well, ever if he could. He didn't need that kind of emotional stress in his life. He looked back at Mrs. Lee with wide eyes.

 

“Oh, no, I-I couldn’t...”

 

“I insist!” She squeezed Donghyuck’s arm excitedly. “You know you’re like a little brother to Johnny!”

 

Donghyuck chewed on his lip. In his head, he could clearly see the way Mrs. Lee’s face would fall if he said no. Curse his perpetual need to make people happy. Donghyuck's lips curled around a shaky smile.

 

“Okay, yeah, I didn’t have a seat yet anyway.”

 

Mrs. Lee _beamed._ She all but dragged Donghyuck past rows of chairs

 

_In. Out. It's okay, Donghyuck. You're both just here for Johnny. He probably won’t even notice that you're here with the ceremony going on. In. Out._

 

Mrs. Lee gently pushed Donghyuck into the second row, just behind her own seat. Donghyuck quickly settled in as Mrs. Lee moved forward to give Johnny some last minute words of encouragement and adjust his tie. Donghyuck tapped his heels under his chair. His nervous energy carried his eyes around the yard, taking note of all the decorations and faces he’d missed earlier. His gaze settled back toward the altar. Mrs. Lee was still talking to Johnny and his groomsmen. Donghyuck chewed on his lip. Just one look wouldn’t hurt, right?

 

Donghyuck let his eyes fall on Mark and all of the air was sucked from his lungs. Just like Mrs. Lee, so little yet _so much_ seemed different about him. The longer strands at the top of Mark’s head were the only reminders of the mop Donghyuck used to be so familiar with. The baby fat that had started to melt off of Mark’s face toward the end of high school was completely gone now, leaving his cheek bones on full display. His meticulously tailored suit showed just how broad his shoulders had gotten. But the warmth in his eyes, the soft edges of his smile, the slightly awkward lilt of his laugh, were all so heartbreakingly familiar.

 

Donghyuck quickly shook himself out of his daze as Mrs. Lee moved to sit. His gaze snapped to Johnny instead. Donghyuck watched in amusement as Johnny’s eyes anxiously danced around the venue. They bounced over Donghyuck, then flicked back. Johnny’s face lit up and he gave a small wave. Donghyuck beamed back, sending Johnny a thumbs up, before turning his eyes down to his crumpled program.

 

Not a moment later, Donghyuck could feel eyes burning into the top of his head. Figuring it was still Johnny, Donghyuck lifted his head with a pleasant smile. When he looked up, it wasn’t Johnny’s light brown eyes staring back at him, but a much darker, much more surprised pair. Donghyuck stared back at Mark in shock for the few moments. Then he swallowed, his expression dipping into neutrality, and turned his face back to his program until the music started. All through the ceremony, Donghyuck kept his eyes firmly on the altar, dutifully ignoring any eyes burrowing into the side of his head.

 

 

Donghyuck managed to continue avoiding Mark through the reception. Luckily Mark’s table was somewhere behind him, so he didn't have to worry about being _assaulted_ every time he wanted to look in front of himself. Donghyuck was also glad Johnny had enough sense to seat him with people he’d met before and not complete strangers. And Johnny’s friends were great! They kept him occupied with their own stories or bits of things Johnny did in college. But even with them to keep him company, Donghyuck had to fight the itch to turn and run home. He constantly reassured himself that he would go as soon as all the important stuff was over and he’d talked with Johnny once.

 

 

Donghyuck ticked off his mental checklist: dances, cake cutting, whatever... all of that was done with by now. So Donghyuck only had to clear one more hurdle before he could make his mad dash home. But the _line_ of people that had gathered in front of the happy couple was _really_ making Donghyuck’s life difficult. He swore the same lady had been congratulating Johnny for the last _ten_ minutes _._ As Donghyuck stuffed another mini cheesecake into his mouth, he felt a timid tap on his shoulder. He huffed and spun around. He figured it was probably _another_ kid asking what the line was for. He aimed his glare low as he kept chewing.

 

Instead of the eyes of a child, Donghyuck’s gaze was met with a pair of slacks. He looked up, then immediately froze solid when his eyes landed on the face of very anxious Mark Lee. A corner of Mark’s lips inched up.

 

“Uh, hey.”

 

Donghyuck almost choked on his cheesecake. Mark was talking to him. After _five years_. God, why was his heart beating so fast? _No._ This was the guy who was _supposed_ to be his best friend then broke his heart and _didn’t talk to him for five. years_. Donghyuck knocked the surprise off his face.

 

“Oh hell no, I am _not_ doing this now,” he said, starting to walk away. He could talk to Johnny _later_.

 

Mark’s face fell. He grabbed Donghyuck’s arm to keep him from completely escaping.

 

“Hey, come on. I just want to talk.”

 

Donghyuck ripped himself out of Mark’s grasp.

 

“You had _five years_ to _try_ and talk to me. But you’re choosing _now,_ at your brother’s _wedding,_  to actually fucking say something? I don’t think so, Mark Lee.”

 

Mark twisted his hands together and sent Donghyuck perhaps the most pitiful pair of puppy dog eyes he’d ever seen.

 

“Please?”

 

Donghyuck could feel people looking at them from all around the room. This was causing a scene, and as much as he loved to do that, _this_ was not the place.

 

“ _Fine!_  We can talk! But we’re doing it _outside._  Away from all these nice people.”

 

Donghyuck turned and started moving as quickly as he could to an exit.

 

_In. Out. This is fine. You’re just going to talk with the ex you never really let go of and then leave. It’ll be okay. Don’t even worry about it. In. Out._

 

Mark gently shut the door behind them once they were both outside. Donghyuck crossed his arms over his chest to fight off the chill that had settled over him despite the warmth of the night air. This position was too familiar for any sort of comfort.

 

“So, um, how...how have you been?” Mark started, rubbing his hands down the sides of his pants.

 

Donghyuck stared at Mark blankly. The movement of his jaw was the only sign he’d processed anything Mark said. He could be civil. He could treat this like a reunion with any other person from high school. Didn’t everyone deserve a second chance?

 

But Mark wasn’t really “any other person from high school” and Donghyuck had five years of pent up emotions begging to get out.

 

“Cut to the chase, Mark. What do you want.”

 

Mark stopped moving and swallowed. His fingers curled into themselves then slipped behind his back. He cleared his throat.

 

“Um, I just...I wanted to apologize. For how things- how _I_ ended things.”

 

Donghyuck’s heart jumped. He kept his breathing carefully measured and nodded at Mark.

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“I-I know it’s been, well, a _long_ time and you’ve probably moved on, like, six times over, but I just, I felt awful after it happened and then _everyone_ yelled at me and then I _finally_ got my head out of my ass once college picked up and I realized that I was _really horrible_ that like, whole last year, and, like, I honestly don’t even have an excuse or anything. I was just young and stupid and I trusted the _basketball team_ way too much. And then _college_ happened and Renjun kept talking about how things were going with him and Jeno and Jaemin, and that just made things _worse_ because it _proved_ that they were _wrong_ when about, like, high school relationships never working or whatever. So I started thinking about, like, would  _we_ have made it if I hadn’t been an idiot? And I just, I _really_ thought I was never gonna be able to actually, like, make it up to you or anything, because, like, you probably- no, _definitely_ hate me. I mean _I’d_ hate me after all that. _Shit_. But, like, I just wanted to at least apologize, even if you don’t wanna be friends or _anything_ again, because I just feel really shitty that I let one of my oldest friendships die like that, and, like, we went to the same college and never crossed paths, and I have _no idea_ where you’re going after this, so I figured it was probably my last chance to say anything to you so—”

 

Donghyuck couldn’t move, let alone _think_ as Mark rambled on in front of him. It felt almost surreal to hear Mark saying all these things. A lot of things really, now that Donghyuck was actually starting to process it.

 

“Mark.”

 

Nothing.

 

“Mark!”

 

He was still going. How was he still going.

 

“Mark Lee!”

 

Mark’s mouth snapped shut and he straightened up.

 

“Can I talk too or are you going to keep monologuing?”

 

Mark’s ears lit up like Christmas lights. He nodded stiffly.

 

“No, yeah, of course, go ahead, sorry.”

 

“There was kind of...a lot in there. So I’m just gonna, uh, take it piece by piece.” Donghyuck took a deep breath. Then something clicked in his head. His brows furrowed. “Wait, did you say you talked to Renjun?”

 

Mark shifted in place.

 

“Oh, uh, yeah. He was at Hongik, which, uh, you probably knew already… But, yeah, since he was so close, we met up every couple of weeks.”

 

Donghyuck stared at Mark incredulously.

 

“You mean to tell me that you realized you fucked up, wanted to apologize, and were regularly meeting up with one of my _closest_ friends, but you didn’t _try_ to contact me through him even _once_?”

 

Mark rubbed his hands down his pants again.

 

“I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me…”

 

“And you think I do _now?!”_

 

Mark opened and closed his mouth like a fish, clearly at a loss.

 

“And Renjun aside, you _knew_ we were at the same school. Hell, I’d put good money on the fact that you knew we were in the same _department_. If you really wanted to, you could’ve come up to me and done this at  _any time_. And frankly, waiting this long to say _anything_ to me has probably just made things worse for you.”

 

Mark looked helplessly uncomfortable, but he still didn’t seem to be finding any words to respond with. Donghyuck huffed exasperatedly and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Whatever, moving on.” He laughed dryly. “Like I tried to do. A lot.” Donghyuck placed his hands on his hips. He looked down for a second then back up at Mark. “You fucking _shattered_ my heart, Mark Lee.”

 

Mark opened his mouth, probably to apologize again if the look on his face was anything to go by, but Donghyuck put up a hand to stop him.

 

“You’ve been quiet so far, just stay quiet for a little longer so I can get this out.” He dropped the hand back to his hip. “Do you have any idea how hard getting over _you_ is? Don’t answer that. It’s really _fucking_ hard, Mark. No one else had been my best friend for _years_. What kind of standard even _is_ that to live up to? And besides that, I had so many _questions_. And, shit, you know what? Since you’re here now, you’re gonna answer them. So what the _hell_ did the basketball team say to you?”

 

Mark visibly swallowed.

 

“Do you remember Wooseok?” he said slowly.

 

Donghyuck’s brow furrowed.

 

“The freakishly tall one a year ahead of you on the basketball team? Yeah, of course I do, he was _hu-”_

 

“His girlfriend dumped him like two weeks into their first semester of college.”

 

Donghyuck’s eyes widened.

 

“Oh _shit_. Weren’t they together for like...all of high school?”

 

“Yeah...so that...that kind of scared me." Mark's eyes dropped to the ground. "Seeing someone I knew so well lose someone that _everyone_ thought they would always be with. And then the team kept saying things like he should have known better and that he should have cut things off _sooner_ because ‘high school relationships never last’ and… And then, at...at that party, the one when I left you with Johnny? They were all like, ‘Dude, you’re still with Donghyuck? When are you gonna break up with him? You don’t want to end up like Wooseok do you?’ And I just… I didn’t have any concrete evidence that we weren’t doomed, so…”

 

Mark shook his head and dabbed at his eyes. He let out a self-deprecating laugh, tipping his head back to blink away tears.

 

“I mean, _clearly_ , I know how stupid that was now but back then…”

 

Donghyuck softened. He could count on one hand the amount of times he’d _ever_ seen Mark cry. Something slotted into place inside him and the knot of anger inside him started to untangle. He nodded.

 

“Yeah, no, I get it. I know how you ar- um, _were_ . Hell, I almost had to write a _dissertation_ for you to understand that I _liked_ you.”

 

Mark chuckled at that. Silence filled the space in there conversation, not nearly as suffocating as before, but still pleading to be broken.

 

“For what it’s worth,” Donghyuck started. He met Mark’s eyes. “I accept your apology.”

 

“You do?” Mark looked like someone had just told him he won another country’s lottery: very surprised, a little confused, but still happy.

 

Donghyuck let himself smile a little.

 

“Yeah. I mean, we really were _kids_. And it just...it makes more sense now. Now that I’ve got the whole story.”

 

Mark’s shoulders sank slightly.

 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t up front about it from the beginning. We could’ve avoided all of this and-”

 

Donghyuck cut Mark off, “Hey, no. Neither of us can know _what_ would have happened if things had gone differently. It’s over. It’s passed. There’s nothing we can do about it now. I forgive you.”

 

Mark chewed on his lip and nodded.

 

“Could I, maybe, a-and you can totally say no! But could you, uh, can...can I hug you?”

 

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s heart jumped in his chest.

 

 _In. Out. You idiot. You forgive him once and suddenly your mush for him all over again? Pull yourself together._ _In. Out._

 

“Uh, yeah, yeah, that’s fine. You look like you need it.”

 

Mark rushed forward. But then Donghyuck put his hand out to stop Mark just before his arms could wrap around his body.

 

“On one condition. Seriously, why the hell did you wait this long to talk to me? It couldn’t have possibly taken _five years_ for you to sort this all out.”

 

Mark’s arms flopped to his sides. Donghyuck watched as pink crept across the bridge of Mark’s nose, all the way to the tips of his ears.

 

“Oh my god…” Donghyuck gaped. “It really took you five years.”

 

Mark huffed and shoved at Donghyuck’s shoulder.

 

“You know I’ve never been good at processing things! A-and what about you? You didn’t reach out to me either!”

 

Donghyuck barked a laugh.

 

“What was _I_ going to say to _you_ ? Hey asshole, thanks for breaking my heart. I’m _so glad_ we’re in school together again so I can be reminded of that _every_ _day_.”

 

Mark sucked his lips into his mouth, like it might let him take back what he’d said.

 

“Fair point.”

 

Donghyuck laughed and opened his arms.

 

“Get over here, dumbass.”

 

Mark’s arms slipped around Donghyuck’s waist, squeezing him tightly. He dropped his face into the crook of Donghyuck’s neck and inhaled. Donghyuck shivered.

 

“God, I missed you,” he felt, rather than heard Mark say.

 

Donghyuck tensed up ever so slightly. He rubbed a hand over Mark’s back, then patted him twice. Mark stepped away, letting his arms slip back to his own sides.

 

“Look, I…” Donghyuck looked at his shoes. “I’ve missed you too, but…” He sighed and looked up at Mark again. “Mark, it’s been five years. We’re different people now. I don’t think we can just ‘jump back in’ to _anything_.”

 

Mark nodded rapidly.

 

“Yeah, of course. I totally understand that.”

 

Donghyuck bit back a smile. Good to know Mark was still an overgrown puppy.

 

“That being said, I think...I think I’d like to get to know this ‘new’ Mark Lee.”

 

Mark all but _beamed_ , but quickly reeled it back in and cleared his throat.

 

“I think I’d like to get to know the ‘new’ Lee Donghyuck, too.”

 

Donghyuck felt a pleasant warmth bloom in his chest and spread to the apples of his cheeks.

 

“So, uh, what do you say we dance and see where things go from there?” Mark said, extending a hand to Donghyuck.

 

Donghyuck grinned. He slipped his hand into Mark’s.

 

“I’d say I hope your partner dancing has improved since the last time I saw you.”

 

Mark choked out a laugh and he tugged Donghyuck back into the ballroom. Donghyuck glanced at the small crowd that still hung around the happily married couple as they made their way to the dance floor. He squeezed Mark’s hand just a little tighter. He had a feeling there would be _plenty_ of time to talk to Johnny later.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I really really hope you enjoyed! Like I said at the beginning, this was my first time actually posting something I’ve written before… so like,, every single comment and kudos just,,,,, fills my heart with warmth T^T <3 <3 <3


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